Uh…… you mean like this?
bell hooks, Feminist Theory, From Margin To Center
“Les femmes qui lisent des romans d’amour sont encouragées à accepter l’idée que la violence augmente et intensifie le plaisir sexuel. Elles sont aussi encouragées à croire que la violence est un signe de virilité et une preuve d’affection masculine, que le degré de violence dans la colère d’un homme correspond à l’intensité de son affection et de son amour. En conséquence, les lectrices apprennent que l’acceptation passive de la violence est essentielle si elles souhaitent recevoir en récompense amour et affection. C’est souvent le cas dans leur vie. Les femmes acceptent parfois la violence dans leurs relations intimes, qu’elles soient hétérosexuelles ou lesbiennes, parce qu’elles ne souhaitent pas faire une croix sur l’affection. Elles pensent qu’endurer l’abus est le prix à payer. Elles savent qu’elles peuvent vivre sans violence ; elles ne pensent pas pouvoir vivre sans affection.”
You are in everything. 99 percent of Hollywood movies feature your faces. 99 percent of magazine covers are covered in you. The Emmy Awards and Oscars are almost entirely you. If you Google “beautiful people” the screen is covered in white faces. Black girls (and boys) are taught from birth that there is one version of beauty, and it is you. Many black girls go their entire lives thinking they are ugly, thinking they need to be lighter, straighter, whiter in order to have value. Everything that you see every day that reaffirms your whiteness; every commercial that has a nice white lady embodying the perfect “mom;” every magazine that has blue eyes and bone-straight hair; every Hollywood blockbuster that has a leading lady with skin never darker than Halle Berry… all of these things are reinforcements of your identity that you take for granted.
You may be fat. You may have hair that curls up at the ends. You may even have acne. But your face is everywhere. Your people are everywhere. What in your heart recoils when you see Black Girls Rock? What bone in your body sees empowerment for black girls and thinks “that’s not fair”? Where is your bitterness rooted? What do you think has been taken from you when women of color are uplifted?
All of the things you take for granted are what you’re protecting when you shout down Black Girls Rock: your whiteness, the system that upholds your face as the supreme standard of beauty, your place in the center of a culture that demands people of color remain hidden in the margins, present but only barely and never overshadowing the white hero/heroine. Your discomfort with black girls who rock tells me that you prefer the status quo: you prefer for black faces to remain hidden, you prefer for America’s heroes to have white faces, you prefer for black actresses to wear aprons and chains.
Happy Galentine’s Day! 5 talks to help you celebrate the ladies in your life:
Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day, the day we all love to love (or) hate, where we get to smother our loved ones with praise, adoration, and heart-shaped chocolates.
But today, today is Galentine’s Day, the day created by the fictitious Leslie Knope of the television show Parks and Recreation for women to honor the women in their life.
“What’s Galentine’s Day? Oh, it’s only the best day of the year. Every February 13th, my lady friends and I leave our husbands and our boyfriends at home, and we just come and kick it, breakfast-style. Ladies celebrate ladies.”
Here at TEDx we’re no strangers to the myriad of contributions smart, savvy, and super awesome women are contributing to the modern world, and we’ve got some talks to prove it.
So, in honor of Galentine’s Day, and hard-working, butt-kicking ladies everywhere, 5 TEDx Talks that Leslie Knope would be proud of:
Shabana Basij-Rasikh: Dare to educate Afghan girls
In this talk at TEDxWomen 2012, Shabana Basij-Rasikh discusses how she and her sister risked their lives by going to a secret school after the Taliban outlawed school for girls in Afghanistan. Hers is a talk that will make you feel privileged to even have a chance to watch classmates throw spitballs in geometry class. A must-watch for anyone — male or female — who’s ever not wanted to get up and go to school.
Soap saves: Renée Botta at TEDxDUChange
Renée Botta works in improving sanitation measures in slums in Nairobi. When she learned of a woman in a neighboring slum making homemade soap, she thought the process would be a good way for community members to get involved in improving local sanitation — until she met Helen — a single mother who decided to not only make this special soap herself, but also to sell it, as a way to become financially independent and take her health, her family’s, and her community’s into her own hands.
A teen still just figuring it out: Tavi Gevinson at TEDxTeen
In this talk, 15-year-old Tavi Gevinson, the editor of Rookie magazine, discusses modern media’s portrayal of women, and her struggle to find portrayals of women that actually resemble real women she knows. When she looked at media representations of teen girls, she ran into the same dead ends, she says, so she decided to take matters into her own hands, and create a space where the content was not just aimed at teenage girls, but made by teenage girls as well.
I’m an astronaut … and a woman: Nicole Stott at TEDxSugarLand
In this inspiring talk from TEDxSugarLand, astronaut Nicole Stott tells her story of becoming an aeronautical engineer and going into space, drawing inspiration from the women who came before her. “I was usually the only girl in my [classes],” she says in her talk, “but I never really noticed it. I never noticed it unless somebody else pointed it out to me. And I think that’s because I was studying something I loved to do, and all the people around me were studying something they love to do as well.”
Why you fear math: Laura Overdeck at TEDxWestVillageWomen
In this talk, mathematician Laura Overdeck explains how adults reinforce the stereotype that boys are naturally better at math and science than girls. “If you give men and women a quiz with math,” she says, “and for some of them, at the beginning they’re asked to check off their gender … the women who have on their test [the question] asking them to check off their gender, do worse than the women who didn’t have that question. Just being reminded that you’re female makes you do worse on a math test.” She has ideas to change this — just watch.
Bonus: TEDWomen talks from Ms. Knope’s heroes, Madeleine Albright and Hillary Clinton:
- Madeleine Albright: On being a woman and a diplomat
- Hillary Clinton’s surprise TEDWomen talk on empowering women and girls
Photo via Salon.
We’re revisiting this playlist from last year, because it is once again Galentine’s Day, and like our friends at smartgirlsattheparty, we want to celebrate.
In March last year a popular celebrity, Alexander Bard, declared on national television station SVT that there is nothing wrong with calling black people “n*ggers” – “If I can refer to myself as a faggot then I should be able to call black people n*ggers” – and when confronted on social media by an Afro-Swede, he insisted on using the word repeatedly to make his point.
Last April, at a student dinner gathering at the prestigious Lund University, students arrived with their faces blacked up, with nooses and shackles around their necks and arms, and led by a white “slave trader”. During the course of the evening, a slave auction was enacted.
When I filed a complaint, I was subjected to a racist reprisal. Apart from threats against me and my family, a manipulated picture of me as a slave in shackles was made into posters bearing the words, in Swedish: "This is our runaway n*gger slave and he answers to the name Jallow Momodou. If you should find him please call this number." These were put up in several different spots around my workplace, Malmö university. Rev Jesse Jackson himself condemned the harassment.
In October 2010, a white Swedish man went on a rampage in Malmö, shooting more than 20 people of colour and killing one. The killer was officially considered to be a lone wolf with psychological problems rather than a terrorist with racist motives, and he has still not been prosecuted.
At the start of last year, a sex education film caused outrage because it showed a black guy having sex with a white girl. More than half a million comments were posted on the internet, mainly commenting on how disgusted they were at this “betrayal” of the white race and corruption of the purity of the Swedish gene pool. The entire incident, though, was not even commented on by a single politician.
Despite all these incidents, however, Sweden has created an image for itself of paradise and harmony, which has been bought into by the rest of the world. It is a challenge for all of us to revise the Swedish self-image, starting in our schools, to understand how racism has taken hold in this country.
Sweden abolished the slave trade in 1847 well after nations like Britain; but few people know this part of its history. The Swedish exceptionalism – the idea that Sweden is disconnected from slavery and colonialism – has made it very difficult to discuss the racist structures that black people face today.
Racism is about power, in which those who operate the levers believe it is OK to discriminate, dehumanise and denigrate without consequence. This is what the culture minister is relying on: a racist structure that ignores racial incidents and ultimately makes them part of the norm. This is what the true image of Swedish society looks like.
Because then we
1. Sound like a tasty sandwich.
2. Put cis gay men aaaaaaaaall the way at the back (which will make the “GLBT” crowd pissed, which is probbaly a good thing.)
What’s the 2? Two-spirit?
I Painted My Nails 7 Hours Ago and Thought They Were Dry Then I Did Something and it Turns Out They Weren’t: my autobiography.The nail polish will…
Ice water never, ever worked for me. I’m pretty sure the only time my nails haven’t gotten smudged is when I got a shellac manicure.
in 1930 the average wages were $27,481*
in 2012 the average wages were $44,321
in 1930 the average home cost $53,635*
in 2013 the average home cost $289,500
in 1930 the average car cost $8,369*
in 2013 the average car cost $31,352
but no you are probably right, it’s just twenty-somethings being lazy.
Don’t buy stuff? You’re lazy. Buy stuff? You’re materialistic.
#gym #boy #funny #girlreality
You’re absolutely right!
Women are conditioned by society to believe that their bodies are never good enough. Our waists are never thin enough, out breasts are never bouncy enough, our butts are never round enough, our pores are never small enough and our legs are never long enough. So women are constantly pushed to continue the process of “fixing” our bodies, even if we’re already been working hard for years and years.
Men, however, don’t have that sort of social pressure on their backs. Even though muscles are idealized in the media, men have been shown over and over again that they can be successful regardless of what their bodies may look like. Just think of all the sitcom husbands who are obese or not terribly good looking, yet have high paying jobs and gorgeous wives! Think of all the politicians out there who are past their prime and don’t look like supermodels, yet literally run the country. Their success is a way of providing men with many positive alternatives to “good” looks, which means that when men complete a diet, they often feel successful and satisfied regardless of the actual outcome - They don’t need to rely on their looks in order to gain social satisfaction.
And let’s not forget that when it comes to dieting, the word means two different things to most men and women: Women are taught to perceive dieting as weight loss, while men are taught to perceive it as muscle gain. Women are thus trying to lose an aspect of their bodies while men are seeking to gain strength. Not only is the actual dieting process typically different (and packaged by incredibly different commercial tactics!) but the symbolism is at completely opposite ends of the spectrum.
This social difference is why, at any given time, 20 million women are suffering from eating disorders, compared to 10 million men. 91% of college-aged women have gone on diets (and 5% say that they are “always” dieting). Meanwhile, at most, only 43% of men are dissatisfied with their bodies and are attempting to diet. This has nothing to do with the “success” of a diet and everything to do with the social pressure placed upon women’s body image. That makes women much more likely to develop an eating disorder during their lifetime - They feel as though their work is never done, even if they manage to lose hundreds of pounds. They’re taught to diet over and over again in order to fulfill the impossible expectations that are pushed onto them.
So it’s absolutely wonderful that you’ve used this meme to point out the many different ways that dieting affects men and women! Brava! Such social commentary, such poise - Good work.
It’s very ignorant of you to think that guys have less pressure in society to look perfect. I have many close guy friends that are insecure and have felt pressured from society, and are even pushed to Ana. I understand that it’s more prominent in our culture for women to go through Ana. Mostly because females are more open about it.
No curtain gender is more pressured more than the other, although one is more prominent.
Considering that I explicitly stated how 43% of college-aged men are unhappy with their bodies and how 10 million men suffer from eating disorders, I’m not sure what you’re trying to prove by talking about the guys you know. We know that men have body image trouble. But that pressure can absolutely not be compared to the overwhelming and pervasive sense of ownership that society places over female bodies. It is not even close.
This is not something to be argued. It is not opinion. It is fact. This issue has been studied over and over again from multiple angles.
I’m sorry - I genuinely have sympathy for people of all genders and identities who suffer from the ridiculous aesthetic pressures that are forced upon us, but that doesn’t mean that I’m just going to accept that a papercut is as painful as a decapitation.